I attended a wedding last month and during the ceremony I noticed that both the bride and the groom were gazing deeply into each other’s eyes as the pastor read from his bible.
Love seemed to be exploding from every part of their bodies. Every marriage seems to start off this way and at some point it becomes rocky or starts going down hill.
I found myself wondering; does love have a planned expiration? Does it have a shelf life like modern technology?
One of my frequent readers here at Couples Skills wanted to know how to make my husband love me again? She was honest enough to admit “I no longer love my husband, but I miss what we had. I know he loves me, but he is not in love with me.”
So I did some research and discovered that even a marriage that is on verge of smashing up against the rocks can find its way back to pleasant and calm waters. “It is never too late to begin the process of falling in love with your husband again” says James Cordova a professor and head of Clark Center for Family and Couple’s Research.
“In our everyday life, demands usually steal our attention from our spouses and paying attention to your husband is crucial for any happy union,” Cordova says. However, there are still ways to bring back the old passion from your husband.
Here are some tips that can help you answer the question how to make my husband love me again?
Behave as if you are in a new relationship
Fritz Gallete, a family therapist recommends that you should try and ask him questions that are typical of new couples, “The getting to know him” conversations. This will go a long way in reminding him of the good old days and he is likely to miss them.
Pay attention to your husband
One of the most frequent complaints by most husbands is that they feel ignored by their wives. Couples usually get used to each other and with time they tend not notice what the other is going through. You might think you are paying attention to him when you are really not.
You can overcome this by looking into his eyes whenever you are having a conversation with him. It is easier to pay attention to someone’s words when they are looking right at you. Additionally, try the “active listening technique.” When he is talking, do not interrupt, just listen completely and when he is done, you can respond.
Share new experiences with him
For years, marriage experts have been advising women to set aside time for sharing new experiences. This can be a night out or engaging in romantic activities that are good for a relationship. Step out of your comfort zone and get creative, this is likely to enhance his sense of intimacy.
Be affectionate both verbally and physically with him
Research has shown that a simple touch can generate a wide range of emotions in comparison to a ordinary gesture like waving good bye. The science behind touch shows that a squeeze of the hand, a pat on the back, an arm on the shoulder or a hug can save a marriage that is on the rocks. Try introducing a more nonsexual affection and touch every day.
This might go a long way in rekindling the warmth he once felt. Saying I love you at the end of a phone call should be more than just a reflexive recitation of a syllabus. Instead, say something sweet and affectionate at times when he least expects it. Sprinkle loving words and phrases generously throughout your conversations.
Always be kind
If your main goal is to make your husband love you again as he used to, being nice is a great way to help. Incorporate “please” and “thank you” back into your communication routines, try using the 30 second rule to control your temper when he irritates you. It does not matter how annoyed you are, just restrain yourself and be kind to him.
Try and behave like you have a new person beside you-someone to hang out with, someone go out on a date with but of course with all the benefits of being his wife. Focus on building something better and new with him in mind.
You will never go wrong If you keep these five tips in mind. Hopefully I helped you answer the question, how to make my husband love me again?a
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Feel free to comment below with additional tips that may have helped you rekindle the love or get the spark back in your marriage in the past.