How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back- 5 Simple Steps

how do I get my ex back

Let me guess, you’ve recently gone through a break up and now you are wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back.

My name is Lenny and I am going to help you get through this tough time in your life and tell you exactly what you need to do to get your ex boyfriend back.

First, I must tell you nothing is guaranteed, but if you take the time to read through this entire guide and follow each step, it will dramatically increase your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

What qualifies me to help you get your ex boyfriend back? Two things:

1. I have helped 100’s of women get back with their ex boyfriends in the past using the exact same process.

2. Being a guy, I know exactly how guys think and what you need to say and do to have the biggest impact.

We all know the period after a break up is extremely tough because you are experiencing a wide range of emotions (anger, sadness, confusion) that can easily cloud your judgement when trying to get your ex back. All you can think about is what he is doing? Who is he with right now? Is he thinking about me as much as I think about him?

Your mind is literally spinning with questions and thoughts that are distracting you from staying focused on your end goal and that is how to get your ex boyfriend back.

Without a plan, you are almost guaranteed to make a lot of classic mistakes that will push your ex boyfriend into the arms of another woman that has been waiting in the wing.

In fact, it is likely you have already made a few of these mistakes and if you do not stop immediately, you will ruin your chances of getting him back for good.

Before we jump into the 5 step “how to get your ex boyfriend back plan”  let’s take a look at a few of the most common mistakes women make  after a breakup.

Ok, now that you have done that. Let’s move on to the:

5 Step How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Plan

 Step # 1 – Give Your Ex Time and Space

Write down your ex-boyfriend’s phone number on piece of paper so you won’t forget it. Put the piece of paper under your mattress and delete their contact information from your phone.

Make a promise to yourself not to contact them until you complete this “how to get your ex boyfriend back plan”.

It is natural to get the urge to call or text your ex, but hold off on doing this until the plan directs you to.

The first step of the plan involves getting off your ex’s radar. Despite the fact that you could be hurting on the inside, you need to make sure that your ex doesn’t know it.

Your ex usually starts off pretty confident that you will be the one to cave in and contact them first, giving them time and space will confuse them and make them wonder why you have not contacted them.

This step involves cutting off any communication with them. I repeat, this means cutting off any and all communication with your ex.

  • No Calls or Text Messages
  • No Emails
  • No Skype or instant messenger
  • No Facebook, Twitter or any other Social Media Interaction
  • And do not respond to your ex’s texts and calls

The no contact period will force your ex to miss you and realize what life is like without you. It will also give them time to get over anything they may be angry with you about.

You may find yourself coming up with excuses of wanting to call or text your ex; this could range from things like you forgot your clothes at their place or wanting to return their spare key.

It is natural to feel this way, but acting on these feelings will ruin your chances of getting back with your ex. You will need motivational support from a friend during this phase

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back If I Do Not Communicate With Him?

Don’t worry, contacting your ex back is an essential part of the how do I get my ex back plan, but it is not something you need to worry about right now.  Keep reading and we will discuss how to contact your ex later in the plan.

What If I Can’t Avoid My Ex?

It’s possible to run into your ex unexpectedly as you go about your daily routine. Maybe you work or go to school with your ex? Don’t try to run away from them, if you must talk with them make your conversations brief. Stay away from any emotional topics, and don’t forget to project an  image of confidence.

How Long Should I Avoid Contacting My Ex?

This time period can range from 20 to 30 days.  You should start seeing results in as little as two weeks. Do not try to shorten this period of time.

Should I Tell My Ex I Am Not Talking To Them?

No. After a short period of time, your ex will figure out you are not talking to them. They will want to know why or insist that it is rude that you won’t tell them know you are ok.

This is a good thing, you want them to wonder what is going on with you and why you won’t respond. Telling them you are not talking to them on purpose would defeat the point of doing it.

Do not talk to them.  If they continuously insist on calling or texting you then you may tell them not to contact you until you say it is ok.

By giving your ex time and space, you’ll be able to allow negative memories and perceptions about you to be replaced by good thoughts and memories.
It is likely you will need something to keep you busy during this time.

Get a subscription to Netflix and do everything you can to keep yourself busy.


Step # 2- Take Time To Rejuvenate Yourself

rejuvenate yourselfDuring the no contact period, step 2 involves self rejuvenation.  Your focus during this time should be getting in the best mental and physical condition of your life.

Use this time to work on yourself by making small positive changes that will boost your confidence and make your ex notice right away.

A Few Examples Of Physical Changes 

  • Change up your look by purchasing some new clothes or shoes
  • Brighten your smile by getting your teeth whitened
  • Get a hair cut or change your hairstyle
  • Start a new diet and or workout plan (Free Offer!)

These are quick and inexpensive changes you can make right away. Word will spread fast to your ex that you are looking fit and sexy.

A Few Examples Of Things You Can Do To Encourage Positive Mental Changes

  • Take some time to release your anger and sadness over the break up. It is ok to cry or vent to your friends or family. In fact, it is necessary
  • Write down all the positive things you like about yourself and everything you bring to a relationship
  • Go out and have some fun with your friends
  • Try going on a few dates with a total stranger

Improving your mental state of mind is not only necessary for yourself, but important before you are ready to communicate with your ex again as well.

The last thing you want to do is come back to your ex in a worse mental condition than you were when you broke up.

Lastly, determine if getting back with your ex is even worth it. Ask your should I get back with my ex? Be honest and weigh the pros and cons.

Really quick, before we move on to step 3, let’s recap.

In step 1, you started the no contact phase by giving your ex time and space. In step 2, you started using this time away from your ex to work on your mental and physical well being.

Step 3 uses the power of steps 1 and 2 to make sure you have caught your ex boyfriend’s full attention.

Step # 3 – Make Your Ex Miss You

i miss youHow do you make your ex miss you? Time and positive visibility are the key.


No matter whether the break up was your fault or not. Time away is the most effective way to make your ex miss you. You want to remain out of sight, but heavily on his mind. If you have followed the plan up to this point and refrained from contacting your ex, you should be right where you need to be.

The time you have spent not contacting your ex is certainly taking its toll on them by now.You have a brand new look, your body is in better shape and your confidence is building. You may feel so good about yourself at this point, you are asking should I even get back with my ex?

The next thing you need to do is Get Social.

Make Yourself Visible On Social Media

One of the fastest and most effective ways get your ex boyfriend’s attention and make them miss you is to make yourself visible on social media.  This does not mean to post pictures of yourself falling down drunk or kissing a random stranger. Making yourself more visible on social media is not to make your ex jealous.

The purpose of this step is to display yourself in a positive and tasteful light. A gentle reminder of what your ex is missing out on and a brief showcase of your new physical appearance.

  • Post pictures of you in your new clothes and bright new smile
  • Post pictures or status updates about your new hobby or workout routine
  • Post pictures or status updates of you out to lunch with your friends

Be sure to be happy and positive in anything that you post online. The word will quickly spread to your ex and quickly grab his full attention. Do NOT fall back into your old habits and let Facebook stalking ruin your relationship.

At this point in the plan, your ex has been thinking about you for weeks, but has been unable to get in contact with you. Imagine popping back up on the scene with a brand new look and a boat load of renewed confidence.

Their Facebook and Twitter News Feed is going crazy because people have noticed your upgraded look.  Your photos are getting a ton of likes and shares. Your positive tweets are getting retweeted by all of your mutual friends.

You have your ex boyfriend’s full attention and now it is time to move to step 4.

Step #4 – Start Communicating With Your Ex Again

black coupleReestablishing contact with your ex should be done with a lot of care. Remember, you have not spoken to them for several weeks, therefore you have be sure not to say anything that is going to remind them of why they broke up with you in the first place.

Your first message needs to be warm and inviting.

For Example

I heard your favorite song on the radio today and thought about you. I hope all is well with you? Wait for a response to your message before you follow up and do not lead into the conversation with the fact that you miss them and want them back.

Be friendly and casual while talking to your ex, don’t discuss any serious subjects right away.

What If Your Ex Is Dating Someone Else?

Realizing that your ex is currently dating someone else can come as a shock and may impact you in ways you never expected. Don’t ask them about the new person or try to sabotage the relationship because this won’t help your case.

A New Relationship Can Only Mean One Thing: Rebound

One of the reasons why you shouldn’t be too bothered by the fact that your ex is seeing someone else is because most likely, this is just a rebound relationship for them. At the root of it, rebound relationships are not romantic; chances are you haven’t been romantically replaced yet. Additionally, because of the fact that your ex met this new person shortly after you broke up, it’s unlikely that they’ll be compatible in the long run.

You’ll learn how to handle the situation if your ex has dating someone else in step 5 of this guide. Even if your ex is dating someone else continue with the plan. You have the upper hand on the new person because you and your ex have history.

Ask Him Out

Asking out your ex is the next move after making initial contact.  You two are back to messaging and calling on a steady basis. They seem to be very interested in your new look and attitude. Now it is time to start making your move.  Ask your ex if he would like to meet up for lunch. Do not call this a date or try to make it something formal. There is no guarantee they will accept. If they decline do not show signs of anger or bitterness.  Keep the lines of communication open and continue the small talk.

Remember, they do not owe you anything. This is a rebuilding stage. If they accept and you meet them for lunch. Be sure not to bring up your old relationship or why you broke up. Only have this kind of discussion if your ex is the one that brings it up. You have some forward momentum at this point. You have reestablished contact with your ex and things are moving in the right direction.

Now it is time to seal the deal and get your ex back permanently with step 5.

 5.   The Last Step to Getting the Ex Back Permanently (Most Important Step)

take actionAfter going through the last 4 steps, your next and final step is to focus on how you are going to get your ex back. If you display even one of your old bad habits or characteristics it will remind your ex of why you two broke up in the first place and they will not want to get back with you.

If you say one thing that reminds them of the old you, all the work you have done up until this point was a waste of time.

Step 5 is all about communication and knowing exactly what to say and do depending on what situation you are facing. This step requires assistance from someone that knows what they are doing.

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