Should I have sex on the first date?
This is a very common question that will likely come across your mind at some point on a first date with someone.
Especially if you and the person have good chemistry and are physically attracted to each other.
Having sex on the first date usually has a very negative connotation associated with it, especially for women.
It is not fair, but the fact of the matter is having sex on the first date could have an everlasting effect on your reputation.
Deciding whether or not to have sex on the first date depends largely on your expectations for the relationship going forward.
For example, if you see the person as a potential long term boyfriend or girlfriend then most experts would recommend waiting a little longer before giving up the goods.
Waiting ensures you have gained some level of commitment and respect from your potential partner first.
On the other hand, if you are just interested in a fun spontaneous night that ends with you getting your rocks off, then sex on the first date might not be such an issue for you.
Let’s talk pros and cons.
1. Discover his/her sexual ability
Sex on the first date will give you a good indicator on how good your partner is in bed and if there skill level meets your expectations.
Imagine waiting several months to have sex with someone only to find out they suck in bed.
Sure, you could stick around and teach them how to do things the way you like, but you may end up more frustrated in the end.
2. See what your partner is working with
In today’s world, there are so many ways to mask the shape of the body and how we look in clothes (loose or tight fitting clothing), hats and accessories (bras, hair pieces).
Similar to testing out the person’s sexual skill level, having sex on the first date allows you to get a better indication on what your partner is working with up front.
It gives you an immediate opportunity to see if their junk (private parts) are acceptable for you if the relationship were to develop further.
3. Potential to help find a suitable mate
I personally know several couples that had sex on the first date and now they are happily married.
One night stands were not something they typically participated in and they were not considered to be promiscuous.
The chemistry and attraction levels were very high and they decided to make it happen.
It is possible that those couples would not be together today had they not taken that chance.
Having sex on the first date does not guarantee a guy will lose all respect for you and treat you like an option, but you must understand the odds are stacked against you.
If you decide to have sex on the first date, please be sure to protect yourself properly.
Let’s discuss some negatives of having sex on the first date.
1. Not knowing your partner’s sexual history
Having sex on the first date can be very risky because it is unlikely you know how many sexual partners the person you are dating has had in the past.
The number of sexual partners could be a good indicator on how often this person has one night stands.
The more sexual partners the person has had, the increased potential they were exposed to a sexually transmitted disease (std) knowingly or not.
Regardless of the number of partners they have, it only takes one wrong encounter to acquire a std.
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner if they have been recently check for a std.
2. Lack of commitment
Giving up the goods too fast can quickly lead to a conscious or subconscious loss of respect.
Guys love a challenge and a chase.
A lot of the excitement in a new relationship comes from the chase and the mental challenge of convincing you a guy is worth sleeping with.
If you have sex on the first date, you have made it easy for him and he knows if you enjoyed it enough, you will sleep with him again whenever he wants.
Eventually you will want him to commit to you in a relationship, but he will be hesitant.
He will think to himself, why would I make you my girlfriend when I already get sex from you whenever I want?
Also, he will think if she had sex with me on the first date, then she is probably pretty easy and does this all the time.
3. Damage to your reputation
Sometimes, your reputation is the only thing you have.
Once you get labeled as a promiscuous male or female, you essentially get put on the relationship black list.
This means you may still get the attention you desire, but the person’s main motivation is to sleep with you because they know you will give it up fast.
They will not be likely to commit to you in a relationship for fear you can’t not be trusted and will sleep with someone else.
Nothing is worse than having a negative reputation that proceeds you.
A bad reputation is hard to shake no matter how nice or quality of a person you are.
4. Risk of pregnancy
Often sex on the first date occurs after a night of partying or drinking.
If you slip up fail to take proper precautions, you could end getting someone pregnant or become pregnant.
Do you want to have to explain to your child they were a result of a one night stand with a stranger?
Are you ready to think about the possibility of an abortion or having a baby with a stranger?
These are certainly important things to consider.
So at the end of the day, should you have sex on the first date?
The answer is, if you want to have sex on the first date, then go for it.
Make sure you protect yourself and that you are ready to deal with the negative consequences mentioned above and all the others I failed to mention.
Be responsible for your actions and do not blame anyone else if it does not work out the way you initially planned.