The success or failure of a marriage or relationship highly depends on how well you handle a number of personal issues.

While you are planning your wedding, are you planning for your marriage as well?

According to research, couples who had undergone premarital counseling portrayed a higher level of marital satisfaction and experienced a 30 % drop in the likelihood of divorce over 5 years.

Before you are planning to get married you need to find a marriage counselor who will prepare you and get your ready before you go down on the road of marriage.

This counseling basically involves a session of questions and answers between the counselor and the couple.

Premarital counseling questions are important because they touch on every bit of marriage and the things that go around in a marriage relationship.

Get a comprehensive look at how a qualified counselor can assist you in building a solid base for your marriage.

These premarital counseling questions will also help you find out what you should discuss with your future spouse prior to walking down the aisle.

Premarital Counseling Questions

These questions are grouped into various categories.

Relationship, Goals and Personal habits

• How did you two meet?
• How long have you known each other?
• For how long have you been dating?
• Are you officially engaged?
• Why are you getting married?
• What do you as a couple want out of life?
• Do you think your relationship will change after you get married?
• What do you think you will be doing in 30 or 40 years?
• How often do you drink?
• Have you ever hit someone?
• Do you have a criminal record?
• How would you describe yourself as a couple?
• Do you cherish and trust each other?
• Is it difficult to say sorry, please and thank you?
• When you are sick, how much empathy and care do you want?
• How would you handle end of life choices and life assurance?
• How’ll you relate to your in-laws, friends of opposite sex, ex-life partner or kids from past relationships after you’re married?
• Do you believe that your fiancée will be faithful?
• Can you see yourselves getting old together?
• Is your life partner a truthful and honest individual?
• How do you display affection towards each other?
• Is your life partner kind, humble and understanding to kids, associates and family?

 Home/ Relocation

• Where would you wish to live and in what setting would you like (suburb, city, small town, plains, rural, along the beach.)
• How close would you like to stay to family?
• Is there a place you won’t like living or any location that is a deal breaker for you?
• What is your take on travel?
• Where do you see yourselves growing old together?
• What are your future expectations on your standard of living and marriage after 5 years?
• How soon after you’re married do you expect to have furnished your home reasonably?
• Will you perform your own home maintenance?
• Who will do your landscaping?

Finances

• Can we talk about money?
• Do you consider yourselves spendthrift?
• What are your financial goals?
• Who’ll be the main financial source in your family?
• Do you support your life partner’s career?
• How’ll you determine your major family purchases?
• Who’ll settle the bills and retain the checkbook?
• What’s your philosophy towards giving to the church and other charitable associations?
• What are your views on the use of credit cards?
• What budget items would you cut if ether one of you lost their job?
• Will you have checking and joint saving accounts?
• Do you have a family budget ready?
• What proportion of your salary will go to home, auto, basic needs, utilities and so forth?

Housekeeping 

• Who’ll make every meal and what kind of food will you consume?
• How regularly will you eat out?
• Who’ll do laundry and ironing?
• Who’ll go buy foodstuffs?
• Who’ll ensure that the general maintenance of automobile is carried out?
• Who’ll do general family cleaning and making of the bed?
• Who will do the dishes?
• Do you own a pet? What type is it?

Sex & Intimacy

• Can we talk about sex?
• Are you comfortable sharing your sexual likes and dislikes?
• What are your expectations of your sexual relationship?
• Do you feel insecure?
• Do you handle compliments well?
• What’s your love language?
• How often do you think you should have sex?

Time

• Do you believe that you should be doing everything together?
• Do you need your own time alone?
• How will you ensure that you both have quality time together?

Conflict and Communication

• How’ll you settle decisions together?
• Are you both willing to face hard times or should try to prevent conflict?
• Do you think you have problems in your relationship that you need to take care of before your wedding?
• Do you resolve conflict well?
• How are you different?
• Do you think your differences will bring problems in your marriage?
• Do you expect or want your fiancée to change?
• Can you both forgive?
• Are you both willing to work on your communication skills and to intimately share with each other?

 Kids and Parenting 

• What’s your attitude towards kids?
• Do you want to have kids
• What is your view about adoption?
• When will you start having kids and how many?
• Do you think you will be nice parents
• What would do in case you can’t bear kids of your own?
• What’s your opinion on abortion and birth control?
• Who’ll be the main guardian of your kids?
• Who’ll discipline your kids?
• Who will be the main disciplinarian to your kids?
• Will your kids have chores?
• Will they be entitled to an allowance and how much?
• How’ll you relate with kids from a past a marriage?
• How’ll you deal with kids’ issues at school?

Career

• Where do you see your career going?
• If you had the opportunity, what’d you really love to do?
• If you both lost your jobs, how would you handle it?
• If you had the opportunity to quit your jobs? What would you do?
• Can you consider working in the same organization or place of work?
• Do you think you can ever do business together?

Social Activities/Church

• Do you have the same convictions?
• Will you go to the same place of worship?
• What’ll you teach your kids according to your faith?
• What’ll you do for fun?
• What interests or leisure activities will you undertake personally, together and how frequently?
• How’ll your personal friendships change after marriage?
• What is your take on alcohol, smoking and weapons in your home?
• Where will you spend your anniversaries, birthdays and holidays?
• Will you both have given times to spend with your own buddies?
• Will you be joining any social clubs?

Red Flags 

• Your fiancée appears illogically jealous of friends, past relationships or family.
• Your fiancée is inclined to severe emotional upsurges and mood swings.
• Your fiancée presents controlling or smothering behavior.
• Your fiancée can’t hold a job.
• Your fiancée can’t resolve a conflict.
• Your life partner displays deceit.
• Your fiancée doesn’t treat you with respect.
• Your fiancée is over reliant on others for cash.
• Your fiancée portrays patterns of physical, emotional or sexual abuse towards you or other.
• Your fiancée shows signs of drug and/or alcohol abuse.

These premarital counseling questions are the key to having a long lasting and prosperous marriage. Do not ever rush into a lifetime commitment.

As always, thanks for reading and please share this article with your family and friends!