So, is it wrong to be married and flirting? Or is it okay as long as it does not go beyond just that?
The Oxford Dictionary defines flirting as to “Behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions”.
The 1968 edition of the Miriam Webster dictionary is even blunt. It reads “making love without meaning it.”
Flirting seems harmless. It is exciting, fun and arouses curiosity about the person you are giving the ‘playful attention’.
Flirting sends a message consciously or unknowingly. What is the message? Romantic or sexual interest in the other person.
If you plan to stay faithful to your other half, then it would be prudent to avoid or stop this playful behavior. You could be wondering, “but why if it does not go beyond just that?”
Up to 90% of our communication is not verbal. We are always communicating without opening our mouths. Our eye movements, posture, facial expressions and gestures are doing the talking. Body language generally prevails over words.
The eyes communicate more messages than any other body part. Flirting signals with our eyes may include winking, smiling with our eyes, batting the eyelashes, intimidating with seduction stares or ‘bedroom eyes’, or observing someone from head to toe and then giving that little ‘twinkle’ which provokes interest among others.
You should know that the eyes are the entrance to your soul. The soul comprises your mind, will and emotions. The mind encompasses your thoughts, wants and feelings.
Studies have shown that anything a person thinks about will eventually manifest in their lives.
Napoleon Hill once said, “Our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds.” This means that your life tends to follow the direction of the most dominating thoughts in your mind.
When a flirtatious glance is reciprocated, it means a lot. You think about it throughout the day. What you think on expands.
If a person gently touched your arm during a conversation, you will think about the touch for long. Thoughts eventually lead to actions. A point reaches when thinking is not enough. Therefore if you are married and flirting you are treading on a dangerous path.
Many people are married and flirting out of loneliness, curiosity or perhaps to feel attractive and passionate again.
Flirting therefore becomes a means to accomplish emotionally what you think you cannot achieve physically. Just think again. Remember it all starts in the mind.
Many divorced people say flirting gradually led to adultery that ruined their marriage. Even if your actions do not lead to physical intimacy, emotional intimacy is equally dangerous.
Therefore if you are married and flirting for whatever reason, reconsider your actions.
If you are married and flirting, your spouse is at a great disadvantage. You spend most of your time with your wife or husband.
True character can therefore not be hidden. However, your flirt buddy will always appear perfect because it is easy to fake the little moments you interact. This is unlike your spouse who will always portray his or her real character. Watch out lest you develop a marred notion on lie.
So if you are married and flirting, you need to decide whether you want to be married or want a divorce. If that is not clear enough, I will dumb it even further: just stop the flirting or get a divorce. This is the only solution.
The first option is the simplest to follow. It only requires that you decide not to direct your energies into disastrous intrigues.
This is the best choice. Just as your spouse decides not to open to other people’s advances when they come across them, so can you.Then take all those energies you have been directing at your flirting buddy and reroute it to its rightful owner: your spouse.
In case there are problems in your marriage, do not resort to artificial solutions. Talk to your spouse and if that does not help, seek the help of a counselor.
If you truly value your marriage, this is the right path to follow.
Someone who is married and flirting can be likened to a fisherman luring a fish. The bait is certainly enticing, it is what the fish wants, yet at the other end of the bait is a hook.
That hook is meant to kill the fish. Flirting while married is a sure lure that will kill your most important relationship: your marriage.
It is not worth it. Look for creative and fun ways to flirt with your spouse! There is no danger doing that but if you are married and flirting, that is dangerous.
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