Let’s be honest, breakups suck and this is especially true if you have just broken up with someone you have been with for a significant amount of time. Not only does it take time to heal from the hurt and pain you may still be experiencing from something your ex said or did to cause the breakup, but you also have to focus on getting back to your normal self.
In this article we will discuss 7 tips on how to get over a breakup and boost your confidence at the same time.
- Take some time to vent
After a breakup, you are usually experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Instead of acting like you are not bothered by the breakup and quickly moving on to someone else. Take some time to cry, scream or express your feelings whatever way works best for you. You never want to keep your thoughts bottled up inside. It will only prolong the heartache and lead to emotional baggage that you carry forward to a new relationship. If you do not have anyone that you feel comfortable talking to, open up a notebook and write out your feelings. Trust me, you will feel so much better after you release some of that negative energy.
2. Do Not Make Any Sudden Moves
Usually after a breakup you are tempted to do anything you can to completely remove yourself from everything that reminds you of your ex. You go through your apartment and put all of their things in a bag, you throw away pictures, tear up cards, you even cut off all of your hair and update your Facebook status to “single.” About a week passes and you announce to your friends that you and your ex are going to get back together. How silly do you look now? Immediately after a breakup, you need to take some time to vent and then start planning your next move. Do NOT do anything drastic.
If you know there is a possibility you and your ex will get back together, just focus on venting and clearing your mind. If you know there is no way you will try to get back with your ex, it is ok to start removing things that remind you of them from your living space, but do not go out and do anything you may regret once you calm down. For example, do not go out and chop off all of your hair, get a new tattoo, sleep with a random stranger or key your ex’s car. These are decisions that will likely come back to haunt you. Wait until your emotions subside and then if you decide you still want to make the decision, go forward with it.
3. Get some new Clothes
After taking some time to yourself and clearing your head, you may still be feeling down in the dumps. A great way to instantly boost your confidence and get the attention of a few new dating prospects at the same time is by fixing yourself up. Buy yourself some new clothes because not only will they make you look good, but they will also make you feel good. Not only will it help your physical appearance, but it will also help indirectly boost your self-esteem and confidence
4. Fix up Your Body Language
If you have been depressed, you may have adopted some less than appealing body language, slouching with your shoulders forward, head down when you’re walking and your hands in your pockets is probably not saying to the world “I am a fun person”. In fact, you most likely look like a rain cloud is hovering over you and no one will be attracted to that. So you may want to consider changing up your non-verbal communication. Stand up straight, put your head up and put a big cheeky grin on your face. Research suggests that holding positive body language will also impact how you feel about yourself.
5. Start being open to conversation
Whether it’s your barista or the checkout clerk at your local grocery store, start being more open to saying hello to people and seeing how their day has been, try to relate to people and make it a mission to say hello to one new person a day. Your goal is to get out and meet as many people as possible. I guarantee you will feel a lot more comfortable with meeting strangers after a month of doing this.
6. Connect with old friends
If you have friends who are going out and are single, head out with them on the weekends to some bars and clubs, try to make it a goal to speak to one person every time you go out. Don’t be afraid to flirt and let people know you are available.
7. Be aware of negative thinking
After a breakup it is easy to slip into the habit of negative thinking or bashing your ex, if you find your thinking negatively about something, try to switch it up and reframe that same thing in a positive way. Make it a habit to do this as research has found that the brain can be reprogrammed to think differently when you consciously and consistently make an effort to do so. The last thing a new guy or girl wants to hear is you go on and on about how bad your ex treated you in the previous relationship. It will send a clear signal that you may not be ready to move on.
Getting over an ex is not the easiest thing to do, but a big part of it is taking the time to heal before getting back in the game. Hopefully these 7 tips we discussed today will help you do that.
If you would like to know more about how to get back into the dating game or how to get a girlfriend, please check out this amazing guide on how to get over a breakup. This guide has been proven to give you everything you need to start making a recovery!
Thanks for reading!